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Howie Carr: Will the last American leaving Massachusetts please turn out the lights?

What are the odds that the six “Providence men” arrested last week and charged with stealing more than $31,000 worth of merchandise from the Home Depot in West Roxbury will show up for their next court appearance Jan. 13?

There are three chances: Slim, fat and none.

This case is appalling, but hardly unusual. In fact, it’s become standard operating procedure not just in Massachusetts, which is obviously a lost cause, but in America itself.

No perps get punished anymore, for anything. The get-out-of-jail free card applies to everyone, but especially to illegal aliens — undocumented Democrats.

These six “Providence men” include Abner Perez, Miguel Perez and Johnathon Amperez-Perez — do you begin to detect a pattern? And si, that is his listed surname, Amperez-Perez.

The senors were busted a week ago Friday morning at the Home Depot on the VFW Parkway.

When Boston police arrived, they found that the suspects had stuffed $13,518.79 worth of wire into a boxed-up bathtub for which they were going to pay $339. The previous day, the police reported, they had stolen $17,989 worth of electrical wire from the same store.

They were arrested and brought before West Roxbury District Court Judge Kathleen Coffey, who once tried to restore the state pension that had been revoked from Whitey Bulger’s jailbird convicted felon hack brother Jackie.

The hack judge Coffey reasoned that merely trying to help a serial killer stay on the lam by committing perjury before a federal grand jury did not represent a dereliction by Jackie Bulger of his sworn duties as a high-ranking hack court official in Massachusetts.

But I digress.

The van the Providence men were using had an expired MA registration and the attached license plates had been lifted from another vehicle, according to police.

Inside the van the cops found paperwork from Homeland Security and the Tennessee DMV as well as receipts from at least four other Home Depots in two states.

In court, the prosecutor pointed out to the Bulger judge that three of the newcomers to our land had “pending Worcester cases” as well as ICE detainers — you know, from Immigration and Customs Enforcement. He asked the judge to revoke their bail.

The judge refused, naturally. The DA then asked for $2,500 cash bail. Hell no. The ones with ICE detainers had their bail set at $1,500. The other three had bail set at $1,000.

Somewhere, Judge Shelley Joseph was nodding her approval of her fellow Democrat jurist’s… compassion.

This all took place in a courtroom with Spanish interpreters for one and all, or should I say, para uno y todos. A “Providence woman” showed up with cash to bail them all out. It is a great country, no? At least if you’re an illegal alien criminal.

Here’s another twist: they were originally charged with aggravated organized retail crime over $10,000, a no-brainer considering the cops recovered more than $31,000 worth of stolen electrical wire from the low-rider van.

Yet mysteriously the charges were reduced to the lesser count of “larceny over $1000.”

Oh, I forgot, Judge Coffey did issue one stern warning to los muchachos. They are all to stay out of Home Depots. Using the same logic she employed when slobbering over the Bulgers, I guess it will be okay for them to shift their operations over to… Lowe’s.

This is how it goes everywhere. No one does anything about this crime wave. And it’s only going to get worse next week when Title 42 expires and hundreds of thousands of more of these Third World career criminals swarm across what remains of the border.

When the Jamaicans robbed the bank on Martha’s Vineyard last month, nobody dared mention what was known immediately — that the gun-wielding thugs had island accents. The cops didn’t want to be accused of… profiling, I suppose.

Here’s another recent pinch. Last Saturday night, in Saugus, the cops pulled over an erratic driver who claimed to be Sugentino Patricio Percel Uben, of, where else, Lynn.

According to the police report, inside the vehicle the cops recovered more than 15 grams of crack cocaine and 24 grams of fentanyl or heroin. On his person, they found $8,461 in cash, including $2,440 in his Nikes. They also found foreign currency — pesos and one birr, which is apparently Ethiopian.

Guess what happened when the cops fingerprinted him — he’d been arrested under at least three other aliases.

As the arresting officer wryly noted, using modern PC lingo, “While identifying as (Carlos Antonio) Rodriguez, Uben was arrested on 07/23/1998 in Corpus Christi Texas for possession with intent to distribute cocaine. He was convicted of same.”

Riddle me this Batman: How is it that a convicted illegal alien drug dealer who’d done serious time in Texas would wind up in… Lynn? Go figure.

But even Americans no longer get much beyond a slap on the wrist except under the most extreme circumstances.

Take Christopher Keeley, the 27-year-old who is charged with slaughtering an elderly Marshfield couple last month. He then fled to Miami Beach, where he dyed his hair a garish reddish-pink to blend into the Collins Avenue demimonde.

You should see how many horrific earlier charges were broomed in Quincy for this Keeley bird, despite his racial handicaps. (He’s white and Irish.) But that’s a topic for another day.

The reality is, this utter breakdown of the criminal justice system is yet another reason why tens of thousands of law-abiding, working-class Americans are fleeing the Commonwealth.

Remember Rachael Rollins? She was elected district attorney of Suffolk County in 2018 on what amounted to a platform of coddling “Providence men” and “Lynn men.” Now, thanks to Brandon, she’s the U.S. attorney here.

But there are glimmers that even Rollins is beginning to recognize the folly of her party’s policies.

In her office’s sentencing memo on drug dealer Yo Pesci (now postponed until February), she noted how the lenient Lynn-man treatment has straightened out Yo Pesci — NOT!

She asked for a 10-year sentence for the obese thug.

“Just punishment must significantly escalate from the relatively light sentences he has received in the past for his troubling crimes. It’s clear that the prior sentences only emboldened the Defendant and his conduct.”

Ya think? Is it possible Rachael Rollins is finally waking up? Nah, probably not.

Will the last American leaving Massachusetts please turn out the lights?